Spot 385 has been stolen by its non-rightful owner for the fifth day in a row, reports the spot owner, who prefers not to be named. 

After waking up after a late night of taking notes on G.K. Chesterton’s The Everlasting Man, math notes, and phone scrolling, the student slept straight through his alarm clock. He claims to have woken up to the familiar ascending pitch of the  “Ripples” alarm sounds offered by Apple at 8:15 exactly, despite having set his alarm for 7:30. At 8:15, he rolled over quickly and smashed the off sound on his cracked iPhone 8. He immediately headed for his dresser, got changed, and then brushed his teeth and got on his way, claiming that he had showered the night before.

As he drove down Lake Road and turned onto Nicholson, it was 8:42. It was going to be close. As he neared his spot in the Nicholson back parking lot though, disaster struck. A black Kia Forte sat in his parking spot, and the surrounding spots were taken as well. Panicked, he decided to park on the lined “spots” at the end of the row. At that point though, it was already too late. A visit to Ms. Fillar was inevitable, especially with the rapid attendance taking of Mr. Merriman ready to greet him first period. That trip to Ms. Fillar would not be his last though.

While he handed in his G.K. Chesterton reading quiz, complete with blank spaces, general gibberish, and the occasional gem found in his notes, he was called down to the office. Apparently, it was illegal to park in the spaces not designated for parking. Weird, he thought, since he saw the lacrosse players park there every day. Angered by the fact he would now have to move his car, he told Ms. Fillar that he was only responding to the Kia Forte. And so, they searched for the owner of the Kia. But the owner was not found.

The next day, as he turned into the Nicholson Lot, spot 285 once again belonged to the Kia Forte. And so, a fierce rivalry was born.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: PARKING ON SEHS’S CAMPUS IS RESERVED FOR STUDENTS WHO HAVE PAID FOR A PARKING PERMIT. UNAUTHORIZED PARKING IS A VIOLATION OF ALL 7 EDSMAN STANDARDS. AS MR. BECKS WOULD SAY, “JUST DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING.”